


Fidelis

by Balthuza



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 08:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4341377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Balthuza/pseuds/Balthuza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were always there. Even before the grand story begun. You were there when John kissed Mary when he asked and she said yes. You remember cheap tux and white dress. You remember her round, heavy and throwing foul words like rocks when John couldn’t drive her to the hospital fast enough. You remember Dean crying in her arms. You remember Sam doing the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fidelis

You are their home.

You were always there. Even before the grand story begun. You were there when John kissed Mary when he asked and she said yes. You remember cheap tux and white dress. You remember her round, heavy and throwing foul words like rocks when John couldn’t drive her to the hospital fast enough. You remember Dean crying in her arms. You remember Sam doing the same.

You remember Dean’s birthday, you remember bristling with their laughter when they set off, you remember the greasy fingers on your upholstery and childish fingers tugging at blond hair.

You were there when Mary burned down in their house. You were there when John fallen to pieces, when his heart shattered to never be whole again. You remember boys curled on the back seat. You remember John carrying bags of baby food and diapers, filling your trunk with canned food and beer.

You remember him just driving, as long, as far, as was possible, stopping only when he couldn’t keep his eyes open, drinking himself to sleep at cheap motels. You remember bad days, when he couldn’t forget. He would leave boys alone and stop pretending he is alright. You remember whispers, pleas and prayers that nobody else heard or listened.

You remember him taking a ghost for the first time, going back to the room covered in blood and mud, with red face and hands burned from hotness of the flames. You remember how horrified boys were.

You remember when John sat with Dean and told him that monsters are real.  
You remember the nightmares he had for weeks, but never said a word.

You were there when Dean shot for the very first time. He barely stands when the gun recoils.  
You remember John’s frantic worry about leaving his sons behind, every time. You remember when he was almost too late.  
You remember when Dean couldn’t sleep again, choosing to watch over Sammy until he dropped. You’ve seen the way John watched him in rear view mirror. You could almost taste all the words he never said.  
You remember the way Dean laughed even less than before.

You remember him putting down his first shotgun, when John staggered next to him and passed out.  
You remember John’s anger when Sammy told him he knows.  
You saw a lot of that. Of John’s and Sam’s screaming matches, when Dean was the only person trying to make them stop. It never worked.

You felt the way Dean buzzed with joy when he took your wheel for the first time. It never really passed. You are his freedom. You are his home.  
You were his friend when everybody else left him behind. Your engine smoothed his nerves when he readied himself for the first solo hunt.

You remember Sam driving you for the first time, too. Careful and nervous under Dean’s wary looks, harsh under John’s. You weren’t the escape he carved, so he left you behind, all of you.  
You always knew he will come back. It couldn’t be any other way, you were sure. You watched them for a very long time, after all. You know them better than anyone.

You can feel their initials carved into you. You listen to Legos rattle the same way they listen to your engine. It’s a part you, the same way as Sam’s army man or Dean’s cassettes.

Whatever they do, whatever happens, you are always there.

You love them.  
They are yours.


End file.
